E-briefing
Truth or Consequences: a Look at Lying

1. How we view a liar

A. Ancient ambiguity: admiration and distrust
B. Liars keep us laughing
C. A lying shame: lying diminishes community, relationships

2. "Father, I cannot tell a lie..."

A. Children are savvy in deceit
B. Mothers beware: your children lie to you most of all
C. Lying 101: a school for scandal in the home
D. Teaching kids honesty as easy as 1-2-3
E. Better listening makes for more truth telling
F. Children's storytelling a means of survival

3. Why do we lie?

A. It's a protection racket
B. The head games we play
C. We lie for goodness' sake

4. How to spot a liar

A. Friends and family likely to spot a lie first
B. Timing isn't everything, but it matters for a convincing lie

5. Getting down to business

A. More of us are lying to land jobs
B. Employers are checking
C. Do the math: one lie = no job
D. Internet eases and speeds up checking on job applicants
E. Handwriting on the wall for employers using handwriting analysis?

I. HOW WE VIEW A LIAR

A. ANCIENT AMBIGUITY: ADMIRATION AND DISTRUST
Holt Parker, UC associate professor of classics, points out that both admiration and distrust are meted out to liars. The great epic poet Homer celebrates a great liar, Odysseus, for cunning and deceit. Yet other ancient Greek literature presents a mixed bag when it comes to deception -- even when it comes to the character of Odysseus. "There is no one attitude toward it. But the basic idea is that lying to members of your own tribe is always bad. Lying to strangers or the enemy is a good thing." On the one hand, the Greeks admire "metis" (pronounced MAY-tis), which is cunning intelligence. Yet they realized it could be a double-edged sword. "The ability to deceive others for the community is also the ability to deceive the community. Like fire, it can be turned against your own people. It is deeply distrusted," Parker said. While Homer celebrates Odysseus as a hero, the Italian poet Dante literally damns Odysseus.
Contact: 513-556-1944

B. LIARS KEEP US LAUGHING
Behavioral scientist Wendy Gamble, associate professor at the University of Arizona, has studied lying among school children: "We laugh at people who lie...when they lie and call in sick. On television and movies, we laugh when people lie to spouses or tell malicious, selfish lies. We accept it and laugh at that."
Contact: 520-621-7138

C. A LYING SHAME: LYING DIMINISHES COMMUNITY, RELATIONSHIPS
Sister Dawn Nothwehr, assistant professor of ethics, Catholic Theological Union, teaches courses on ethics that routinely examine the effect of falsehoods on the individual, relationships and the wider culture: "The 'comm' in communication is about community and common bonds. So, we see that the virtue of truthfulness is connected to the need for justice in relationships. Justice is most simply defined as giving someone their 'due' in a relationship." Perhaps that's why every world religion has prohibitions against lying. All see a value in truth. From the Christian perspective, truth is central, said Nothwehr, and Jesus is the model for telling the truth despite all consequences. Truth leads to genuine living.
Contact: 773-753-5336

2. "FATHER, I CANNOT TELL A LIE..."

A. CHILDREN ARE SAVVY IN DECEIT
Behavioral scientist Wendy Gamble, associate professor at the University of Arizona's School of Family and Consumer Sciences, has studied lying among school children, finding that children show a surprisingly sophisticated understanding of lying as a communication and relationship tool. "Children are very savvy in using deceit to preserve and maintain relationships. They learn that this behavior helps avoid conflict." They also weigh the consequences of getting caught. "In deciding to tell the truth or lie, children think through what the other person might think if they find out. Even young children (6-8 years old) consider the impact and consequences. They understand the trust issues that are involved. Children know it's risky and can be very harmful to relationships."
Contact: 520-621-7138

B. MOTHER'S BEWARE: YOUR CHILDREN LIE TO YOU MOST OF ALL
Behavioral scientist Wendy Gamble, associate professor at the University of Arizona, studies children and lying. Among the findings of Gamble's study last year:

The sheer numbers and types of lies increase as children mature; however, most lies are told to "benefit" another or to protect someone's feelings (pro-social lies).

Children tell more pro-social lies to peers. They tell more selfish (ie, to conceal a misdeed or protect the self at the expense of another) and self-enhancement (avoid embarrassment, disapproval or punishment) lies to their mothers.

There was no gender difference in the numbers and types of lies told.

Children did tell the truth more often than they lied.

C. LYING 101: A SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL IN THE HOME
Behavioral scientist Wendy Gamble, associate professor at the University of Arizona, has studied lying among school children. Children learn lying from adults who, said Gamble, lie two to three times a day. If parents want to raise an honest child, they must, most importantly, be aware of their own behavior. "If you lie, fess up. Provide a very good justification." And when you catch your child in a lie, don't go with your "knee-jerk reaction" to punish even though you're thinking, as Gamble admits she has done: "Oh my God! She lied to me! How could she do that?!" First, explore why your child lied. Talk about what other responses would have been better. Explain that lies can be very damaging for the liar. "With each lie we tell, we lose who we are and what we believe. We're not our honest selves. Children who are chronic liars early on may have very disrupted relationships later in life."
Contact: 520-621-7138

D. TEACHING KIDS HONESTY AS EASY AS 1-2-3
Linda Plevyak, UC assistant professor of early childhood education, says there are three stages of moral awareness:

1. If I don't get caught, it isn't wrong. "If a child can lie and not get caught, they don't see that as something wrong."

2. The social approval stage: What will happen if I get caught?

3. The highest stage involving principles and morality. "This is the stage of awareness when you realize even laws can be wrong, and you feel a moral obligation to change them."

Plevyak says parents shouldn't wait to hear a tall tale before talking to their children about lying. "Parents can help children by posing a moral dilemma in scenarios: 'I asked you to come straight home, but instead, you stopped by the candy store, and I noticed you were late. What would you say if I asked why you were late?'" Plevyak adds that children also need to understand when unsupervised actions are wrong, such as raiding the cookie jar when the parent is out of sight. "Most of all, remember children are very observant of what other people do, because they're learning and studying. If they see their parents lie, you've lost a great deal of ground, and the same goes for the teacher. We have to be models for children. Children also must know that they are a part of the family and as a result, through those connections to their families and communities, they'll feel a responsibility to do the right thing."
Contact: 513-556-5106

E. BETTER LISTENING MAKES FOR MORE TRUTH TELLING
Darwin Henderson, UC associate professor of early childhood education, says that teachers "teach" truth with active listening. "Let's say the teacher encounters a situation in which one child hits the other. The teacher will hear, 'He hit me!' and the offender may say, 'No, I didn't!' The teacher has a responsibility to help the children learn problem solving, and to learn why the child was struck by his playmate. The teacher may say, 'You were very angry that Thomas wouldn't let you play with the ball.' There's no blaming, just an opportunity to open the situation for discussion, diffuse potentially disruptive behavior and get to the crux of truth telling."
Contact: 513-556-0198

F. CHILDREN'S STORYTELLING A MEANS OF SURVIVAL
Author Gerard Pottebaum, president of Treehaus Communications, Inc., provider of materials on spiritual development and worship for children and families, has also organized and participated in national and international conventions that focus on the spiritual well-being of children. He said children engage in storytelling in an effort to give order to a chaotic world, and that storytelling may be misinterpreted by adults as being dishonest. "Children use metaphors in storytelling to give order to a world they find beyond their control....Adults have to be careful of misinterpreting the stories a child might tell as 'lies.' If we describe lies in terms of a person's willful intent to deceive someone, we're not talking about these situations in which children engage in imaginative play."

He added, "Children reveal an innate sense of right and wrong...Children are quick to see through pretentious adult behavior. Often, it's the child who calls the adult to honesty, more than the adult calling the child to honesty."
Contact: 513-683-5716

3. WHY DO WE LIE?

A. IT'S A PROTECTION RACKET
Jerry Jordan, UC associate professor of communication teaches about interpersonal deception in his communication courses. He says that the conventional wisdom among communication researchers is that almost everybody admits to some form of deception, but we tend to differ on what type of lying is acceptable. People are more likely to lie in short-term or anonymous relationships such as with store clerks or telemarketers, and generally lie less often in long-term, intimate relationships, such as a spouses or close friends. When a deceiver does lie in an intimate relationships, he or she tends to consider it as "protecting" the other person, while lying in non-intimate relationships tends to occur for self-protection.
Contact: 513-556-4474

B. THE HEAD GAMES WE PLAY
Sister Dawn Nothwehr, assistant professor of ethics, Catholic Theological Union: There are numerous permutations to lying - white lies, ignoring facts, omitting facts, group think [where a person does not really agree with what their group is doing but is too intimidated to speak out], stereotyping, etc. - and mental gymnastics to excuse lies are quite common. One very popular one, according to Nothwehr: "What does it matter? No one will get hurt." Or, people might justify that they can't hurt someone's feelings. Replied Nothwehr, "I tell my students all the time that I only give criticism to people I care about. To not tell the truth is to give disrespect, it's giving of love that's disingenuous. It eats away reality."

The real danger is the habitual use of such mental gymnastics and dispensations because patterns of lying will affect relationships with other people. There's a subtle breakdown of trust. And there's a cumulative effect in society for all the times we don't tell the truth. Asked Nothwehr, "Why don't people vote anymore? Because politicians routinely break promises. When people can't depend on one another, you have to be ever vigilant and that takes a lot of energy. It's exhausting to be constantly on the defensive that way."
Contact: 773-753-5336

C. WE LIE FOR GOODNESS' SAKE
Sister Dawn Nothwehr, assistant professor of ethics, Catholic Theological Union, gives three basic motivations for lying: fear, control, and a desire to be perceived as good. Fear can take many forms: fear of conflict, fear of risking a relationship in some way, fear of rejection, etc. Lies are also a means for taking control away from someone else and co-opting it for oneself. So, we'll tell a small lie for advantage in a competitive environment. Finally, people want to be "good," and they want to be perceived as good, that they have life together. "All of these might come into play when we hide some family tragedy from grandma who's 85 year's old and has seen plenty of tragedy. Here, we want life to be neat, good, perceived as good and under control."
Contact: 773-753-5336

4. HOW TO SPOT A LIAR

A. FRIENDS AND FAMILY LIKELY TO SPOT A LIE FIRST
Lisa Newman of UC's communications faculty frequently serves as a consultant to legal teams and plaintiffs, advises looking for "leakage" clues to spot a liar: a wiggling foot that becomes more pronounced, hands that don't keep still or enlarged pupils. These clues tend to be more apparent to those closest to us -- spouses and friends -- because they will spot the leakage easier, based on your normal patterns of behavior. But be careful: enlarged pupils can also indicate attraction. Newman says that researchers have found that almost everyone lies on a regular basis, but mostly for altruistic reasons. Those who will be most successful or convincing are those who "pre-think" their deceit.
Contact: 513-556-4458

B. TIMING ISN'T EVERYTHING, BUT IT MATTERS FOR A CONVINCING LIE
From the President right down to a prospective employee, nonverbal communications expert Frank Horvath, Michigan State University professor of criminal justice, can usually tell who's lying. For instance, he and six peers also trained in non-instrumental lie detection quickly concluded that President Bill Clinton lied when Clinton declared, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman...." What were the signs? They included Clinton's lack of casualness, his forcefulness and his rigidity. And although most of us might assume that motions like pulling an ear, scratching our nose or crossing our arms are prime clues to a speaker's deception, Horvath cautions that other factors, such as timing and pattern, must be considered.
Contact: 517-347-1352

5. GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS

A. MORE OF US ARE LYING TO LAND JOBS
Human resources consultant and attorney Wendy Bliss, author of "Legal, Effective References: How to Give and Get Them," (Society for Human Resource Management, July 2001), says that survey after survey finds that many job seekers are less than truthful. She pointed to results from varying studies, including the following:

Currently, 25 to 40 percent of applicants embellish, distort or outright lie.

95 percent of college students said they would lie to get a job, and 41 percent have already done so.

Job seekers have grown progressively more dishonest. One longitudinal survey found that 36 percent of job seekers in 1997 embellished, distorted or lied. That compares to 18 percent who did so in 1979.

B. EMPLOYERS ARE CHECKING
Kristin Bowl, media affairs manager for the Society for Human Resource Management, provided the following from a 1998 SHRM survey on employer reference checking: Eight of 10 of surveyed employers regularly check references. The information most often checked includes past work histories, past employers, and lengths of employment. Other items are checked less frequently: criminal records were checked by 44 percent of responding employers, degrees earned by 40 percent, and past salaries by 36 percent. The survey also found that many candidates lie on resumes even though nearly all companies (96 percent) warn that any falsehoods discovered during the hiring process are grounds for dismissal from consideration. Forty-five percent of surveyed employers found that applicants regularly or sometimes lied about criminal records, 35 percent found that applicants regularly or sometimes lied about former employers while 30 percent found that prospects regularly or sometimes lied about degrees earned.
Contact: 703-535-6047
Web site: http://www.shrm.org

C. DO THE MATH: ONE LIE = NO JOB
Human resources consultant and attorney Wendy Bliss, author of "Legal, Effective References: How to Give and Get Them," (Society for Human Resource Management, July 2001), said that lies and shadings of the truth will almost always land applicants in the "reject" bin if discovered. And, she warned, more and more employers are checking on potential hires. "Intuitively, an employer is going to figure that someone who would lie to get a job will lie on the job. Huge alarm bells go off."
Contact: 719-488-2332

D. INTERNET EASES AND SPEEDS UP CHECKING ON JOB APPLICANTS
Human resources consultant and attorney Wendy Bliss, author of "Legal, Effective References: How to Give and Get Them," (Society for Human Resource Management, July 2001), said that more employers are doing background checks, verification and reference checking. Employers are subject to negligent hiring lawsuits if they hire an unfit person who causes harm. In addition, taking the time and expense to screen up front makes for cost- and time-savings in the long run in terms of smooth operations. One plus: thanks to the Internet and electronic communications, the screening process is faster and easier in many ways. Many public records and other relevant employment data are now available online from government agencies, pre-employment screening services firms or credit bureaus, making for faster search and retrieval.
Contact: 719-488-2332

E. HANDWRITING ON THE WALL FOR HANDWRITING ANALYSIS
Frank Horvath, Michigan State University professor of criminal justice, said behavioral clues to detect dishonesty are becoming increasingly popular with employers, especially since the 1987 Employee Polygraph Protection Act outlawed polygraph testing to screen applicants for employment in private industry. And though graphology, or handwriting analysis, has been used widely by European employers to root out "bad" applicants and is becoming more popular in the United States, Horvath cautions that research shows graphology is not useful in identifying dishonesty among job applicants.
Contact: 517-347-1352

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